It is never a good sign when, upon starting a project like this blog, I already have reservations, already don’t want to maintain it, to spend the effort here required.
There are high standards to meet; I read blogs by author’s I respect, by critics I enjoy, and read literature of such quality, I believe, that some nights I am paralyzed by inaction and doubt: will my writing and awful poetry ever match the quality of the Apollinaire’s or Neruda’s? I read blogs by activists whose efforts, energies and organizational skills seem inextinguishable. That is good, we need people such as that, who will never give up, never bow there heads, so long as injustice and oppression continue. I don’t care what fraction they belong to, whether they think I’m a shallow fool or a follower in words rather then deeds, every struggle won, no matter how small, is a victory, every step forward, amongst all those millions out there striking, organizing, writing, arguing, is hope.
I wax nostalgic, my time has passed already. This blog is a joke, a link up with campus radio in a small and decaying big little town in the heart of resource country, the last big outpost of Imperial Ontario, annexed to them when Manitoba should have got us, mired in our age, exhaustion, decayu and poverty, all the jobs gone, all the hope left in tourists and retail. But still we live, like a near dead beast, and still there is joy, hope, love, anger and voices being raised; the future is never a closed book, but open water, a vast ocean, to be charted bravely and never just accepted, though too often we feel like a ship of fools, drifting aimless and happy with drugs and boozes.
Not that drugs and boozes are bad, per se. Not at all. We all need a little fun now and again, right?
Lordy, I don’t actually talk like this: I just write like this. This blog is mainly going to be a connexion for my radio show, also carrying the same title as above, and thus becomes a repository of what I have written. I don’t expect much at all about this, I don’t magically expect people from the blogs and pages I read to swarm here and love me; I write and anazlyse poorly, compared to others, so really bhere I am, adding my tiny voice to the far crowd.
There will be a setlists! Cower before my musical …might?
There is much reason for doubt. But then again, there is always room for joy.
Might as well plunge forward, and not let inertia and entropy get me down.
Some of these posts will be crossovers from my old journal…at least for the initial future.
Welcome to the Anatomy Lesson. Dissecting my insecurities, and literature and stuff, for months to come!
